in Canada, Explore, Fashion, My Style, Travel, September 17, 2018

I used to be kind of obsessed with the concept of Thanatos aka. death drive. Because Google is a thing that you can use to look this up if you wanted to, I’ll just leave the TL;DR version as follows: It’s the psychological drive towards self destruction and death. If that sounds like an emo kid’s mantra, well you would be correct.

I was that emo kid.

I’ve grown out of it for the most part, but sometimes I revisit that version of me — and this tank top is one of the last remaining pieces of that time in my life. It’s so edgy, it’s so black and white. It’s a theatrical cat, it’s the one that gets compliments from people with piercings and rainbow colored hair.

It’s one of the few things that I wore when I was angry. And it’s one of the things I never threw out or donated because it’s so damn comfy.

So I’ve softened up a bit, am less angry (on most days,) and a lot older, but I feel like those emo days were just yesterday. How much have I changed? Well, just look below the belt and you’ll see an old lady skirt that I proudly picked up from thrifting.

The angry early 2000’s me would probably rather have been stabbed in the left ear than wear something like this.

But now, I love this print. I love the length, I love the pleats and I love that I’m not so mad after all. The shirt and the skirt don’t really go together, but I wore them together anyway and it turned out not so bad.

The emo me and the now me don’t feel like the same person but they are, whether I like it or not. It’s kind of OK to be a mismatched mess.

We all are to some degree.

Shirt Winners | Skirt Thrifted | Shoes Ardene | Photos @deklyn21