Have you ever just felt… blah?
It must be seasonal, it was around this time last year that I thought I was quitting my blog for good.
I didn’t think the weather could affect me that much, but it really does. Maybe it’s time to look into getting that happy UV lamp.
It’s the end of the year again, what have I learned this year that will keep me doing the things I enjoy?
- Make time for things you love. I work weird hours, a full 40 hours a week. I hoard side hustles that take up more time. I have errands, chores, pesky life things that need attending to. But when an indie film is in need of a stills photographer, I jump on it. I will request days off, neglect grocery shopping, forego sleep. I don’t care, it invigorates me. I’m always the happiest when on set. What do you love? Shuffle things around to accommodate it and feel the love. There’s no better feeling than floating through a day like it was just a minute because you’re enjoying the fuck out of whatever you’re doing. These times are golden.
- It’s OK to be yourself. I’m still getting used to this idea. My entire life I thought if only I was more extroverted, I’d have more friends. If only I was more interesting, people would like me. Sometimes I still think like that, and when the self doubt creeps up, when the anxiety of self loathing starts to fog, it’s hard to shake. But this year while I was out doing things I love, I discovered that it’s not being extroverted or interesting that makes you friends. It’s just being you. I’ve made more contacts this year than I ever had previously. All from just being present. I showed up, I chatted, I photographed, and sometimes I get invited back. Sometimes I get invited to lunch. And I feel the best about myself when I’m surrounded by people who want to interact with me because they genuinely want to.
- Give yourself some slack. We all feel like pure unadulterated shit sometimes. Treat yourself to whatever makes it better. Is it a long nap? Eating an entire tub of dulce de leche ice cream in 3.5 minutes? You’re the only one you can count on to treat yourself, so do it every once in a while. My thing is retail therapy or arts & crafts. Best scenario is retail therapy for arts & crafts supplies to kill two birds with one stone. I also love being efficient. Can you tell?
- Wear a cool sweater. It doesn’t have to be Christmas to whip out an outrageous sweater. To no one’s surprise, my sweaters are either laden with cats, cat hair, or so bright it can blind an unsuspecting passerby. It’s nice to have random people say, “I love your sweater!” As I walk down the street. You’re fucking right my friend, my sweater is so fucking adorable it hurts.
So, unlike last year, I end what possibly is going to be my last post of 2018 on an up note. Life is busy busy, and I’m making time to do what I love — more films coming up!
Shirt Old Navy | Sweater Thrifted (Wildfox) | Jacket Forever 21 | Pants Joe Fresh | Bag Target | Shoes Don’t remember the store but I got them for $6 in an NYC basement… | Photos @jncve